Promoting his book Profiles in Hope in Goulburn, John Brogden says everyone can do something about suicide, and people should not avoid asking directly if someone is feeling suicidal. Photo: John Thistleton.
CONTENT WARNING: This article discusses suicide and self-harm.
In Goulburn promoting his book Profiles in Hope, John Brogden is three-quarters the way through his talk to a spellbound audience when he comes to that pivotal moment that ended his promising political career.
“I decided at that point, 6:15 on the Tuesday night in September, almost 20 years ago this year, not only the only thing for me to do, but somewhat bizarrely the best thing for me to do, was to take my own life,” he said.
He was 33 and leader of the Opposition, having been elected to the NSW Parliament at 27 and a shadow minister at 30.
“I don’t want to sound full of myself, but they were great achievements at that age,” he said. “Do you think I thought that? No. They were not good enough.”
The Liberal Party was coming back through the polls and looked a chance of winning. But out in public, Brogden had said and done some stupid things.
He’d only had three beers at the time. He couldn’t blame the grog and blames himself.
Alone in his office, desperate to lift the burden of what he had done from his wife Lucy, who was pregnant with their second child, he had started his suicide attempt. But it failed after police had arrived and he was taken to hospital.
Speaking at Goulburn Mulwaree Library with the ease, wit and humour that propelled his swift rise in politics, the 56-year-old businessman reveals he is medicated daily for depression and suicidality, and sees a psychologist twice weekly and a psychiatrist as needed.
A former chairman of Lifeline Australia, Brogden says depression is better understood these days, but those dealing with it never want to normalise suicide. They want people going through it to choose life over death.
About 3300 Australians take their own life every year. Thousands more attempt suicide, more women than men. More men complete their suicide than women.
“The big problem I have is we’re not driving that number down. It’s flat, not going up or down much, but we need to drive it down,” he said. “We need to do more with a message of hope. There is a way through the darkest point in your life. And I as much as anyone know just how hard that feels.”
Profiles in Hope tells 15 stories, including one from Ian Thorpe, who shares a list with his friends to guard against his suicidal tendencies: if he is eating rubbish for days, or not walking the dog, or drinking too much.
“Everyone knows Ian Thorpe even though he has not swum a race for 25 years, that’s how famous he is,” Brogden said. “Ian’s story is a fascinating story, we had a national gossip session for 20 years about whether he was gay or straight, which did not make him suicidal,” he said.
Thorpe quashed that speculation with one line: “It’s nobody else’s business.”
“The thing that pushed him to the edge was when he was accused of cheating. But he came back from that,” Brogden said.
Peter, a farmer from the remote outback, was shaking and crying as he told his story. A city electrician, he married a country girl, went out to farm and thought he was a complete imposter because he was surrounded by lifelong farmers and had to pretend he was one of them.
It all became too much; he went up to repair a dam and cracked. He was about to take his own life with a shotgun when he heard one of his boys come up on the motorbike. That turned it around.
Interviewing people, who included James Packer, Jacqui Lambie, and a teenage bodybuilder whose failed attempt left him in a wheelchair, Brogden asked a recurring question: “Did you think you had to get to that darkest point, to try and kill yourself in order to turn your life around?”
Yes, they did.
Born in Balmain in 1969, coming through turbulent teen years after his parents divorced and an abusive alcoholic married his mother, Brogden surprised his working-class family when he joined the Liberal Party and entered public life to make a difference.
What people needed to hear more of during the discussion about suicide, Brogden said, was the message of hope.
He said former US president Richard Nixon aptly described his life:
“It’s not until you have stood in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to stand on the highest mountain.”
If this story causes you distress, please seek support. If you need help, or someone you know does, call Lifeline 24/7 on 13 11 14.
