The Team depicts four Clydesdale horses, even though only three are apparent at first glance. The fourth is largely hidden until you count the legs and ears. The drawing became a crowd favourite at the recent Goulburn Show. Photo: Tammy McIntosh.
With the last ounce of energy in her body, and trying to help her friend’s loss of a much-loved horse, Tammy McIntosh discovered her gift for art.
That talent was reinforced at the Goulburn Show earlier this month when The Team, Tammy’s detailed sketch of four Clydesdales in harness, won People’s Choice. At previous shows, she had earned minor placings.
Tammy has lived with myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome since at least her teens. It first became apparent when she needed a nap in the afternoon while at university.
Later in Goulburn, where she had been a history/English teacher at Mulwaree High School for a decade and previously at Goulburn High, the condition worsened.
“ME/CFS means I have a tiny, tiny amount of energy,” she said. “It’s like recharging a broken battery with a broken triple-charger. I could stand up for a shower and then be in bed for two days.”
Tammy also has functional neurological disorder (FND).
She could not handle light or noise, needed sunglasses and headphones and became so weak she could not turn on her phone.
“I lost my short-term memory for a week, and it was the scariest shock,” she said.
These days she can spend up to 22 hours a day in bed. She cannot play with her two boys, Callen, 6, and Liam, 8. She relies on her husband, Ben, now her carer.
After leaving teaching in 2021, Tammy started drawing stick figures, then animals, and doing pieces of art for everyone in her family. Regaining some strength, she began watching people paint and draw on YouTube.
Tammy has grown up with horses and owns three retired racehorses. Her friend Leisa Doggett spent much of her time with her horse, a Welsh D gelding named Nullah.
“She used to live on its back,” Tammy said. Then Nullah died.
So Tammy bought the biggest canvas she could find on which to paint Nullah and present it to Leisa.
“She didn’t take the painting out of the box for a year because she could not handle it,” Tammy said.
By now Tammy had the confidence to accept a commission, painting a Staffy dog, and was proud of how it had turned out.
Tammy McIntosh attributes her talent as an artist to the time she spent trying to capture a friend’s horse on canvas. “I couldn’t believe I had created that,” she said afterwards. “It was time, not natural talent.” Photo: John Thistleton.
“He was huge and he was gorgeous, one of those crazy pictures that if you look at it side on, he pops out from the canvas,” she said. “I was so proud because all the way through the painting I had no idea what I was doing, so I would add another layer.
“I kept going over and over and over it. The more layers you have, the more depth you have, so because I had 25 layers because I had no idea what I was doing, it turned out brilliantly because of these extra layers of acrylic.”
Her client gave her more commissions and by 2023, having acquired her own ABN, she began her business venture, McIntosh Wildlife and Equine Art, and settled on her preferred medium, charcoal.
Having an affinity with heavy horses, Tammy now felt ready to draw them.
“They are big, powerful creatures, yet they just do what they are trained to do, wholeheartedly,” she said.
She wanted to capture on canvas their strength and gentleness.
Writing to the Clydesdales Australia group on Facebook, Tammy appealed for impactful photographs. From hundreds of responses, she narrowed down five choices for her Chronic Fatigue Syndrome support group, and Facebook friends. They all settled on the four Clydesdales that she had overlooked for another photograph.
“I think I was avoiding it [the final choice] because it is very complicated,” she said.
Then her hard work began in earnest.
“I would wake up, eat, draw for an hour, fall asleep for a few hours,” she said. “Usually I would have two hour-long sessions a day.”
This working scenario continued for six weeks. She wasn’t capable of doing anything else.
“It was my biggest piece, one of three ‘make-or-break’ pieces, each requiring a new skill,” she said.
Tammy McIntosh also tried working with colour pencils and pastels. This drawing of Billy earned a Highly Commended accolade in the animal study section of the 2024 Camden Show, which attracted numerous entries. Photo: Tammy McIntosh.
A silver lining to her medical setback, art has given Tammy a sense of purpose, enough money to buy materials, and a wider circle of like-minded artists.
One day she hopes to regain enough energy to offer her work at community markets.
“If I did not have this, I would not have figured out I could draw, but there are some heavy costs,” Tammy said.
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