“Everything is possible,” says Menslink success story and Canberra business owner Xavier Duffy, who will share his journey at the Menslink Big Night Out 2026 fundraiser on 13 March. Photo: Supplied.
Xavier Duffy knows he’s lucky to be alive today.
When he and his dad returned to the crash scene in the days after he rolled his ute, hit a tree and rolled again, Xavier says even his father “was probably surprised I didn’t die”.
Xavier was 20 at the time, finishing his apprenticeship as a carpenter, but had broken up with his girlfriend. The pressures were piling up, money was tight, he was living out of home and “everything felt different”.
Angry and frustrated at the world, he jumped in his ute one night when he shouldn’t have and drove “like a dickhead without much care for my safety”.
Xavier says he’d hit rock bottom.
“At that point I was pretty low, but counselling wasn’t something I’d considered,” the now 35-year-old father of two (with one on the way) says.
It was his mum, a social worker, who helped Xavier connect with Menslink, then in its infancy, as a Canberra-based support organisation for young men.
At the time, the wait to see a psychologist was six weeks. Xavier was at Menslink within two days.
What happened next is a life-changing success story for the businessman, podcaster, builder and owner of ACT Decks, who will share his journey as a guest speaker at the Menslink Big Night Out 2026 fundraiser on 13 March.
Xavier says Menslink really helped him out of the hole he was in.
“They picked me up, dusted me off and helped me get going again,” he says.
He began with counselling sessions twice a week and went regularly for about nine months, but what’s stayed with him are lifelong tools he can lean on “to keep believing and keep building on yourself”.
An important aspect of the programs, aimed at nurturing resourceful, resilient, respectful, and responsible young men, is having someone to talk with in a “safe space” outside your family, friends, or workplace, according to Xavier.
Menslink champion Xavier Duffy with his wife, Georgia, and sons Arthur, 5, and Eli, 2. Photo: Supplied.
And learning not to be so hard on yourself.
“We’re all human and make mistakes – the key thing is what you do afterwards,” he says.
“It’s easy to jump on Facebook or Instagram or look at your friends and think everything’s going great for them, but you never know what’s going on behind closed doors … so don’t compare yourself!”
Xavier admits it can be particularly tough for young blokes to put up their hand to ask for help.
“That’s why I’m more than happy to tell my story again – to share with others that you are not broken if you go and talk to someone,” he says.
And with sobering statistics that report more young men die by their own hand than the entire national road toll, Xavier knows just how critical it is to support an organisation that can help young men find the right path to being a man in today’s world.
“Menslink provides that refuge where you can go and seek support without judgment, or even be part of helping young blokes yourself in a mentoring capacity,” he says.
“The big factor for me is the hope that by telling my story, it could save a life.”
When it comes to putting your hand in your pocket to buy tickets for the fundraiser or putting your hand up to help, it’s a no-brainer that Canberrans should jump to support an organisation that helps build better blokes, because that’s better for everyone in the community, says Xavier, who will donate a cantilever pergola beside the main auction prize of a Volkswagen Amarok, from Lennock VW, on the night.
“The proof is in the pudding,” he says.
“My story is not unique. I was lucky I was able to walk away from that accident, but I know a handful of blokes who weren’t able to walk away.”
The Menslink Big Night Out, now in its 10th year, will be a “celebration of growth, mentorship, and real-world success” while raising money for a cause with a proven track record of educating, mentoring, and providing counselling to young blokes across Canberra and the surrounding region.
Young blokes like Xavier, who now champions the work of the organisation that began in 2002.
“I feel very lucky to be here today – and I still feel I owe a great debt to Menslink,” he says.
Tickets for Menslink Big Night Out 2026 on 13 March are still available to purchase or find out more about their work via Menslink.
Original Article published by Jodie O’Sullivan on Region Canberra.
